Checking & Agenda:
- What did you learn when you fill out the Relationship Happiness Scale?
- Understanding the age of your emotional body in relationship
- 4-questions to have better relationships
- Homework: Ask these 4-questions to at least one person or more in your mind every day and watch your relationships improve.
The Age Of Your Emotional Body In Relationships
Your emotional body is not always an adult.
If you’ve experienced emotional trauma and pain around relationships, your emotional body can stay stunted at the age the trauma occurred and it will affect your relationships.
When that happens you can be in an adult body and act like a 2-year old.
Have you ever seen an adult throw a temper-tantrum?
That is someone living in an adult body but experiencing life as a child because their emotions have not grown-up.
What age do you feel your emotional body is in these relationships:
- Life Partner (If you don’t have one, what age is the emotional body that keeps love away from you?)
When you recognize the age of the emotional body and see how it is affecting your relationships you can start to shift it.
Here is how to start your shift:
- COMPASSION: Have compassion for yourself. There is a reason your emotional body stayed at the age it is. It has to do with being hurt and not getting the love, safety, and support you needed at that age. Really begin to have compassion for your life journey and the little girl who is still, afraid, sad, lonely, angry, whatever it is. She deserves your love and support.
- ALLOW: Allow the adult you to speak to your little girl and let her know that you understand why she is there. Tell her that you completely understand why she is there and that she’s safe and that you’re going to take care of her. Also, tell her it’s time for you, the adult, to start running the show
- TAKE ADULT ACTION: This is where you do a new behavior as you feel love and compassion for yourself. This will feel different and it will move you toward what you want versus what you’ve always had.
The little girl inside of you is never going to go away.
However, it’s time for her to mature into the Goddess that you are.
The Goddess inside you is full of wisdom, love, and compassion. She has the answers if you open up to her wisdom.
4-Questions To Create Better Relationships
These 4-questions are OUTSTANDING and Super Easy!
They will help you start creating better relationships with others and with yourself.
You deserve that!
When you are having a conflict with yourself or another, ask these 4-questions:
- What’s going on in their world?
You don’t always know what is happening to someone. If a person cuts you off in traffic, maybe they just heard their mother was in a bad accident and they need to get to the hospital.
When you ask this first question you open up your heart to giving others a break and having more of a connection than a judgment about them.
This is an important question to also ask yourself.
Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep and are tired and feeling grumpy. You too deserve a break from yourself.
Asking this first questions and start to feel your heart open to more love, compassion and forgiveness.
2. What’s important them at this time?
Here is another opportunity to open your heart to more love, compassion, and forgiveness for yourself and others.
Everyone has a different priority and that’s okay.
We’re all in this world together and connecting with each other, including yourself, is more important than anything.
3. Am I listening to understand or listening to defend?
Most of us will listen to defend our point of view and when you listen to understand someone, again, you open to love and connection instead of being right and disconnecting with another.
Life is so much more fulfilling and happy when you focus on love and connection. =)
4. Have I clearly communicated my perspective?
People are not mind readers.
It’s easy to think, “Well, they should know that.”
No, you know that because of how you see the world.
Another knows the world from a completely different perspective and that’s okay.
It’s your job to help them see your point of view in a loving way.
Your perspective matters and if you communicate it in a way the other person can hear it and understand it, you’re more likely to create connection and have better relationships.
This week use the 4-questions above both with the people in your life and with yourself and let us know what happens. =)
Resource: How To Succeed With People by Paul McGee